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QUARANTIMES

Evan Thanicatt

Characters:

E - college student.

Notes

A projector indicates things E writes. That text is also spoken aloud. A huge tearaway number calendar on stage with the day number.  

QUARANTIMES

E rips off the the first blank page.

Day 1

E pulls out their phone and starts recording 

E

Quarantime log date March 23. 

Whats up internet? 

(to friends offstage) Shh shhh! I’m recording!

It’s ya boi. I know I haven’t done a lot on here. ButI have been convinced it might be fun to make a regular thing for all my people who are miserable back home. 

Here’s hoping a little chaotic energy and brighten up your day just a little. 

Expect some more crazy times from [insert local hometown] and I’ll do one of these like a good scientist. And I’ll see you soon!

OFFSTAGE VOICE

Yo! Blow a kiss you won’t!

E blows a kiss. It’s super cringey. Laughter explodes.

E stops recording and posts it. They put down the phone very pleased, grab the paper scrap and exit.

Day 3

E enters rips off two days. And sits in an interesting position maybe stretching. Opens their phone and starts recording

Quarantime log date March 26 

Hello friends! Hope you’re enjoying your spring break as much as I am. Incase you missed the story yesterday I went out with some friends for food and some chillin together. Now don’t worry we go to school together so nobody is more at risk because of it. 

To the people who blew up yesterday for me hugging my friends. First of all if any of us had it we all spend to much time together so we all probably have it. Second and more important. The amount of bacteria transferred from handshakes is way more than hugs so dont make it a big deal people need affection and who better than from the homies. Just saying.

Shout out to Ian and Sammy the homies really digging deep this week. 

To everyone feeling trapped just do something! Go for a walk, hang out with your parents, it could be fun. That’s my plan for the next few weeks. That’s hang in there guys! I’m outtie!

End recording E crumples up the pages and jogs off.

Day 7

E jogs on energetically rips 4 days off the calendar. Then props the phone up to record and starts doing push ups. 

Quarantime log date March 30

Hey guys just got back from my daily walk run. SIX! You know gotta stay fit with the gym. My neighbors must think I’m, SEVEN! Crazy doing lunges on the sidewalk but the grind never stops. Turns out EIGHT! we just got another week off hell yeah. 

E stops on the ground a moment.

Sucks for the people who lost their trips but like I’m thriving. I confessed to my parents that I started drinking at school. And they pulled out the booze hahaha. 

Back to push ups 

 NINE! Shit is insane here. TEN! 

E picks up their phone and starts walking around

Idk how I feel about online classes but I’m sure we’ll be back soon. Keep checking out my stories and idk tell your friends if they need a boost. The best part about businesses closing is now our place is own to the fam so we are gonna head over there soon. 

Anyway keep on keeping on. Till next we meet. 

E balls up the page lobs it off stage and exits

Day 9

E enters. They look a little unmotivated. E rips the calendar page really poorly. Maybe they do a jumping jack or two  Before pulling out their phone again. 

Quaratime log date April 1 lmao

So... here we are...Spring Break 2… Electric Boogaloo. The straight to DVD sequel we all were waiting for! Shit is pretty tight. Well, except the rest of the semester getting cancelled, all the extra curriculars getting cancelled, businesses shutting down, And whatever crazy shit the president is saying on the news. In other news I learned my secret thoughts about Ms Rona have become a meme. Now referred to as the boomer remover. Truly incredible. We got the earth healing from all the factories down and the cars off the road. We got job openings for “lazy milenials” all over. Maybe we’ll be able to afford houses one day after all lol! And iconic memes.

With the stay at home thingy picking up going on my walk through the woods is the only time I leave the house now. But! Like I said nature? Beautiful. Thanks corona. 

That’s all from me for now. 

Omg wait. Let me know what you think is happening with Corona Beer. More ironic purchase than ever #allpressisgoodpress? Or are they gonna rebrand completely like call it crown in a different language wait. Call it tiara market it to bachelorette party vibes. Send me your coronaspiracy theories and ill cya l8r. Byeeeee.

E exits. A stage hand picks up the page for them.

DAY 10

E enters. Stares at their phone. Remember the calendar. Did it get bigger? Why is it so high up today? They try once or twice before giving up exhausted.

They pull up the camera.

And really try.

But they put it back down. And type instead.

“Yo this shit is getting to me today. Like do yall remember hugs? I saw an episode of How I Met Your Mother where they had a group hug and I felt a deep emptiness. In other news, I’m considering making an Only fans for money? JK JK JK… Unless *winky face**crying laughing face*” Stay positive!”

E is going through it. 

DAY 13

E enters full of energy this time. Tears of the days pages with some effort but unfaltered

Quarantimes Log date April 4. 

Today is a good day, I decided to go outside and I really think if you just keep pushing it's gonna get better you know? It’s got to. Online classes have been really hard. Like I don't know what day it is? So I don't know when things are due, and my procrastination panic isn’t turning on. I’ve missed maybe four assignments and two meetings in the past 3 days. If yall are going through it too I feel for you I am with you. If you are doing great? Right on. I hate you. Leave now before I threaten you for your secrets. I hate to say it but we’re in it together. Try something new, switch up your routine! It’s all gonna be fine. 

E puts the phone down and looks at the audience. They are defeated and faking it. Real hard. 

DAY 14 

E pulls out a laptop as the calendar days just fall off. A zoom class everyone is doing check ins.

E

Hey everyone. I’m doing alright I guess. Everyone is safe and healthy… I don’t really know why I can’t get anything done. I’m sure it’s just I haven't gotten into the groove yet. I don’t know I should be fine but I’m not? Sorry I’m rambling. Overall doing okay pushing through. 

DAY 15

E enters in the middle of a phone call.

E

Yeah? 

No, I'm fine. Everyone is fine.

It’s just... my show got cancelled, I miss my friends. I didn’t sign up for online school you know? Like I can’t focus or whatever.

Mhm.

Okay.

Yeah I might try that.

I was going outside a lot getting exercise, now it's a lot of Netflix and- 

… 

Yeah like 4-5 times a day if you really wanna know yah perv. I just get so distracted at home. I’m always tired now. It’s like all this stuff is weighing me down and I can’t remember how to get it off. 

Oh for sure I know it just a matter of time it will just click. It always does. How are you?

You did? A new book wow. You already wrote 3 chapters? That’s so great. 

I can’t even post in my discussions. I’m just-

Oh yeah so nice to hear from you too. 

You just try and escape my affection once this mess is over with! 

Okay yeah talk soon. 

Bye.

E hangs up. Walks around a little. Chucks the phone off and exits.

DAY ???

E

Qaratimes Log whatever. 

Hey internet. My only interaction with people besides my family who I don’t even have time for anymore. I found out one of my friends from school got it. But now everyone has stopped talking to me? Like they could get it over zoom or some shit. I might not even have it. 

E puts the phone down. And looks into the audience

It’s like… HEY I’m right here. 

(laughs)They are unhinging

 I’m a human being. I’m not a monster. I probably don’t even- don’t look at me like that… DON’T! You- You- don’t know what I’m feeling, you don’t. Something is wrong HERE! In my brain. It’s not the climate, it's not the fear. I need space. I need time. I need human connection.  I can’t think when the thought of someone accidentally brushing their hand across mine gives me chills. Just- Please. Hold me. Don’t say anything, don't reassure me. Just be here. With me. It’s touch. People need touch. And I don’t have any touch anymore. My siblings won’t. That's lame not cool. Not like we inhabited the same vagina or anything right? My parents won’t touch me because now I’m and adult and probably because I’m gay and it’s like being trapped with these people who only half accept me are slowly forcing me further and further back into the fucking closet I spent the first 18 years of my life suffocating in! God I can’t breathe.

E looks around. Runs to the calendar and starts tearing ferociously looking for an ending. 

Scraps of paper star piling up, As the numbers start changing shape until they aren't numbers any more and are fading.

No. No no. No no no….

 E tears the stage apart looking. Trying to scream but nothing is coming out. 

The lights grow ominous around them. And close in they can’t leave the light. 

The walls are E is panicked running and screaming as the space closes in on them.

A single red light close on their face. 

Closer. 

Closer. 

At the last moment… 

For an instant

A flash of sunlight.

Blackout.